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Joke of the Day

"My career as a karate instructor was tragically curtailed when parents found out I was wholly unqualified & just enjoyed kicking children."

"The difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb You can unscrew a lightbulb."

"AROMATHERAPY CONUNDRUM: Spilling a large bucket of Lavender oil all over your carpet: Very stressful, or very relaxing? #retweet #grief"

"What's the first sign of AIDS? A pounding sensation in the ass."

"What do Donald Trump and the Chinese have in common? Im not going to make a shit joke about a wall get out of here"

"No thanks, Trix cereal. I have enough drama in my life without a rabbit trying to steal my breakfast."

"Where is the most open green space in New York City? Central Pork"

"Roosters are just edible alarm clocks."

"I avoid all spoilers for the new Star Wars movie. I won't watch the trailers and... I refuse to watch the movie itself as to stay spoiler free for the rest of my life."

"What do you call a pretentious coffee? A latte-dah!"