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Joke of the Day

"My career as a karate instructor was tragically curtailed when parents found out I was wholly unqualified & just enjoyed kicking children."

"Despite its deceivingly yummy smell, this bar of oatmeal almond soap tastes just like soap."

"Oprah says we all have a small child inside of us longing to get out & omg why isn't anyone talking about Oprah eating children?"

"It's hard to find true love these days. Even Charles Manson's fiance wanted him for his body."

"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research."

"Pee your name in the snow and you'll quickly understand why they teach cursive in our schools."

"What do you say to pasta that gets thrown out? Hasta la pasta baby."

"How are Jews and children similar? They both don't like to take showers."

"What do you call 2 chainz on steroids? 2-Gainz"

"Who did Chris Brown mistook Rihanna for? Britney Spears"