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Joke of the Day
"What do you call an aminoacid glued to an Australian? A glutamate."
Next Joke
"A Roman gladiator walks into a bar... He holds up two fingers and says ""Five beers, please!"""
"I say ""post-9/11"" for literally anything that happened in the last 14 years. Madagascar 2 is so post-9/11. Dr Pepper Ten is a post-9/11 soda"
"""Flatulence is not an emotion."" -me explaining feelings to boyfriend"
"Why is Math always sad? Because it has too many problems."
"What are the names of the first two men to get married under the new Irish gay marriage law? Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick"
"Where do people go for pasta related crimes? A PENNEtentiary!"
"Never understand when someone says, ""cats are snobby."" Like dogs are constantly inviting you & the kids over for burgers & a swim?"
"What did Michael Jackson say to the Vegetables? Just beet it"
"Caught my wife cheating with the neighbor today so I smashed our big screen tv onto his head. That will teach them to prewatch the jeopardy dvr and try to outscore me without me knowing!"