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Joke of the Day

"Guys: Every two weeks, tell your lady that her new hairstyle looks great!!!! You might not notice it...... but trust me, they changed it. You can thank me later. "

"A feminist is someone I could really get behind."

"You can't trust a mule with an important task. They'll just half-ass it."

"Q: What did the football say to the football player? A: I get a kick out of you."

"What do you call terrorists who have degrees in material science and electromagnetic theory? HysterISIS"

"Grammer nazis are the worse. Thank you four you're time."

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking... Jk, rowling."

"Death: I've come for you. Me: That's what she said. D (bursts out laughing): You get me with that one every time! Ok, see ya."

"How do you get Holy Water? You put water in a pot and boil the HELL out of it."

"I can't sleep in my bed anymore, my mind races thinking of all the stupid stuff I've done in the past. Stupid memory foam..."