134032

Joke of the Day

"Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of dirt? A: The bucket."

"Apparently speed dating doesn't involve taking amphetamines. UGH. Worst night ever."

"Me: Happy Easter! Taylor Swift: I hate Easter! It's all a lie! Me: The Jesus thing? Taylor Swift: Ya... Men don't come back after 3 Days!"

"My girlfriend said to me ""you keep talking like we're on Walky talkies... this relationship is over!!"" ""This relationship is what? Over."""

"Over the past year my sexual perversions have been getting more perverse. But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I'd hit rock bottom."

"How do you get a nun pregnant? You fuck her"

"Why did the spreadsheets get divorced? They just couldn't sort things out."

"March Into Battle by Sally Forth"

"Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single."

"Thanks for explaining to me what ""many"" means! It means a lot!"