13397

Joke of the Day

"A grand jury is made up of a cross-section of the community. I ride the train w/the cross-section & it's mostly people peeing on the floor."

"Facilitator: Any questions about the sexual harrassment course before we start? *raises hand* Me: Is ""harass"" one word or two? F: Me: Thx"

"you don't need to thank everyone on facebook for your birthday messages, they were not sincere."

"Accidentally picked up two traffic cones instead of my children again"

"I'd make a wind pun But it blows.."

"I am thinking about pursuing a job as a crowd estimator I wonder how many people are in that field"

"Toy Story 5: Jason Statham must deliver the last iPad to Uganda, in a prius, and he has to drift the entire trip or the car will explode"

"I was reminded of you today. But then I flushed the toilet and went on about my business."

"I became a proud father today He just turned four, but he was a boring little shit the first few years."

"I'm so grateful to the teacher who defined the word ""plethora"" for me... It meant a lot."