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Joke of the Day

"Immortality would suck. I don't want to spend the next 800 years trying to explain Gangnam Style to my great-grandfather."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Mick Jagger Barbie ...Mick with Barbie's head...but Mick's lips"

"ladies call me a keyboard cus i'm always in front of the computer and i've got crumbs in all my crevices"

"The soul weighs 21 grams. We know this because the Jurassic World film reels are 21 grams lighter than Jurassic Park"

"Note to shelf: Thanks for keeping my stuff off the floor."

"What do you call an aardvark that writes poems? A bardvark!"

"I liked that new movie about the masseuse. It had a happy ending."

"Fun with wife A man has fun with his wife......."

"A little boy comes running to his mother.. ""I went into the bathroom and the light came on without me touching anything!"" ""Oh you idiot, you've pissed in the fucking fridge again."""

"What do you call a blood vessel with a carrot jammed into it? A carroted artery."