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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a blood vessel with a carrot jammed into it? A carroted artery."

"My wife asked me if I knew the difference between ignorance and apathy...... I told her I don't know, and I don't care."

"what kind of biscuit can fly? a PLANE biscuit"

"Relationship Status: Very relieved towels can't get pregnant."

"Sometimes it's really hard to tell who's winning when you fight sarcasm with sarcasm."

"I get pretty horny when someone disses me over the Internet. I always get e-rekt."

"Is a pamphlet just a smaller pamph? What the heck is a pamph? People make no sense."

"my criminal record is only clean because of how fast i can run with my pants around my ankles."

"Ramadan month is exhausting. You have to wait all day to Instagram your food."

"My favorite jokes are ones about Pavlov. I always laugh at them without even thinking about it!"