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Joke of the Day

"A Shout Out to all the beautiful women who don't need to dress half naked to get a man's attention. Stay classy! The rest of you, come with me."

"Honey, I slept with a stranger tonight. April Fools'. It was your sister."

"Have you heard about Michigan's music scene?? I hear there's a lot of heavy metal in Flint. :^)"

"[grocery store] dad to his crying baby: shhh stop crying [baby keeps crying] me: wow, your baby does not listen"

"it's so crazy to think that, before the internet, real celebrities had to tattoo the little blue checkmark on their faces"

"""Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?"" Lucifer: Are you hitting on me?"

"No matter how much you push an envelope It will always be stationary"

"Just gave all of my money to Charity, she gives a hell of a lap dance."

"Tasteless Stephen King Joke When Rachel Creed came back from the dead, Louis killed her with a 12 Gage."

"What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? Spit, swallow, gargle."