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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? Spit, swallow, gargle."
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"""If life hands me lemons I'll be an Arnold Palmer."" - Ice T"
"Women are like helicopters... You know they work and you trust them, but if you make any effort to understand them whatsoever you'd be too terrified to go near them."
"Glad my dog is warning me about the child walking down the street catching snowflakes on his tongue. He seems sketchy."
"i dont care what anyone says, i dont have a follow up statement i just dont care what anyone says."
"What is it called when you butt dial from your front pocket? A cockadial"
"Special olympics joke [0 upvotes 'cause no one cares about special olympics]"
"I'm not saying we should kill all the stupid people in the world, I'm just saying we should remove the warning labels from everything and let the problem take care of itself."
"When is a woman too fat to fuck? When you pull her panties to her knees and there's still pussy in them."
"saw guy at the store hand his gf some ""cutie"" oranges and say ""youre the real cutie."" i went to the bedding aisle and screamed into a pillow"