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Joke of the Day

"3 things happened to me today 1. I woke up 2. I met a hot girl 3. I kissed a hot girl But it happened in this order, 1. I met a hot girl 2. I kissed a hot girl 3. I woke up"

"Luke got Darth Vader a Christmas Present. Darth Vader: Luke... I know what you got me for Christmas... Luke: Nooo! No! No!! How could you possibly know?!?! Darth Vader: I felt your presents."

"I adopted a rock. He just sits there and does nothing all day. It still beats raising Kylo."

"10th anniversary So my girlfriends dad just accused me of pedophilia, she is 18 and I am 32. It ruined our 10th anniversary"

"Yo mama.. is so old that Steven Spielberg used her as a dinosaur consultant in Jurassic Park"

"Women like a man with confidence. Because without that, what's to destroy?"

"My medication says to store it in a cool, dark place. So I keep it in a jazz club in Harlem."

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because fuck you"

"Cliffhangers I like cliffhangers, and I cannot"

"A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says ""what is this a joke?"""