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Joke of the Day

"No matter which kids book I read to my screaming baby on an airplane, the moral of the story is always something about a vasectomy."

"I woke up one day and your name just didn't make me smile anymore."

"What's a woman who always knows where her husband is? A widow."

"I hate barbers more than doctors Because I have to live with the shit that one does."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I've never gotten stuck in a traffic jelly!"

"Michael J. Fox is extremely formal... ...he even shakes hands with his wife."

"What phrase would a neckbeard who watches South Park use the most? M'Kay"

"Why Romeo could not meet Juliet at an Apple Store? Poor Juliet! Did not know Apple stores don't have Windows!"

"I heard they wanted to do an Asian version of Drive but there's already a movie called Crash."

"Paychecks are like dicks... Although you don't go around comparing yours to other peoples, you always hope it's a little bigger."