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Joke of the Day
"My teacher was impressed with my mediocre computer programming project He gave me a C++!"
Next Joke
"Her: What's a girl gotta do to get a drink? Me: You just give the bartender your order. Her: ... Me: It's really pretty easy. Her: *leaves*"
"My dog is sleeping soundly now that I've removed myself from his king sized bed."
"The best thing about Twitter & Instagram is that every girl finally gets to be a princess, or a _princess, or even a prin_cess."
"In the motorcycle safety course they tell you that target fixation is bad, where your eyes are looking is where you usually end up. Must be why I keep running over female joggers."
"What value is higher than infinity? Infinity plus 1. I'm sorry."
"I invented a motorized walking stick.. I call it the hurrycane."
"What's black and never works? Decaffeinated coffee"
"*Pulls away from kissing* *Puts on headset* ""Hello 911, what's your emergency?"""
"Think Im Sarcastic? Watch Me Pretend To Care!"