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Joke of the Day

"Think Im Sarcastic? Watch Me Pretend To Care!"

"I wrote a poem too. I sneeze. You sneeze. She sneezes. He sneezes. They sneeze. We sneeze. Now I know it's not a very original poem, but it's pretty sick."

"Seems like everybody is wishing to find that special someone in their life, and I'm just over here wishing I could eat without getting fat"

"Went out to dinner last night & the hostess asked me ""Where would you like to sit?"" I replied ""preferably on a seat."" #accomplished"

"What did the prostitute say after fucking Jesus? Nailed it!"

"Me and the wife 88'ed last night. It's like 69'ing, but for fat people."

"Why didn't Mario put more toppings on his pizza? Because there wasn't mushroom on it."

"Saw a licence plate today that said ""LUVSHOES"" Couldn't decide if they love fashionable footware or easy women.."

"Saw HBO were going to be making a new TV show set in an airport... They had to cancel it though as the pilot didn't take off."

"What do Canadian squirrels eat? Eh-corns."