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Joke of the Day
"Why did the Pollock cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken."
Next Joke
"My girlfriend has Parkinson's Disease. And the hand jobs are AMAZING!"
"*uses Oujia board* SMELLS LIKE UPDOG me: what's updog? NOT MUCH, DOG, JUST ABOUT TO POSSESS YOUR CAT me: what cat: what"
"I need a new gimmick. What if I'm always just inexplicably shuffling a deck of cards? Would you buy that? Like ""whoa, who's that drifter?!"""
"The word ""Caesar"" has always bothered me. It looks like a and e are mad at each other."
"Omg I'm so thirsty- *Kool-Aid Man busts through wall* OH YEAHH *Sugar-free zero calorie Kool-Aid Man jiggles door handle* LITTLE HELP HERE"
"What do the official USGA rules state when... you and your opponent are looking for his ball, and he claims to have found it, but you know he is lying because you have it in your pocket?"
"What's hardest part about eating bald pussy? Putting the diaper back on."
"What's yellow and flys through walls? A magic banana..."
"I just bought shoes from a drug dealer... ... I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."