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Joke of the Day

"They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but 2 minutes and 15 seconds once every 3 months ain't going to shift your beer belly is it."

"Would I miss my leg or my arm more? (me, lying in bed, deciding which to put outside the blanket for the monster under the bed to rip off)"

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves. Free."

"INTERVIEWER: What did you like most about your last job? ME: *leans in way too close* Leaving it."

"My Girlfriend told me to give her 10 inches and make it hurt... So I fucked her twice and punched her in the mouth!"

"When I call you Hun, it's short for Atilla."

"How does praying lead to a blow job? I don't know, ask an alter boy."

"[joke request] Civil engineering jokes, (Bridges, sewers, roads, engineers in general) What is the best joke you have related to Civil Engineering."

"""Dad"" said Fred to his father who was a bank robber. ""I need $50 for the school trip tomorrow."" ""OK son"" said his dad ""I'll get you the cash when the bank closes."""

"Q: What did the leprotic john say to the hooker? A: Keep the tip."