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Joke of the Day

"I used to be embarrassed by my facial hair, but it grew on me."

"its all fun and games until someone loses an I?. then we cant play scrabble anymor"

"Why does the French Military install rearview mirrors on their tanks? So that they can see the battle."

"Lady pulled away with the gas pump still in her car and I was like OMG who's your dealer?"

"'What other miracles can you do?' Jesus: I can varnish 'You mean vanish?' J: *running finger over a beautiful oak table* aha, not quite"

"Sex is like listening to the Beatles Your parents do it and it somehow doesn't make it less cool. Shout out to CH, because I heard it here."

"Why did so many people show up to see the cannibal get cremated? His family advertised it as a barbecue."

"The only reason kids like Christmas is because they're not the ones buying all the presents."

"What did Jesus say to all the black people before he died on the cross? Don't do anything till I come back."

"Who let the dogs out? Knock knock"