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Joke of the Day

"If I were a fashion designer I wouldn't spend any money on advertising but rather pay old people to wear my competitor's clothing"

"If you're with me when I die, remember 2 things: 1) Do Not Resuscitate 2) Smash Phone on Ground"

"You sneeze, and a tiny book titled ""A spiders guide to navigating the human brain"" shoots out your nose. You faintly hear a spider cussing."

"People always give bridge builders a hard time... They're just trying to make ends meet."

"Life is like a box of Chocolates It doesn't last as long for fat people."

"I don't get what's so great about hand jobs. She's always ends up falling asleep by the time I get her whole hand in my mouth."

"I knew that psychic wasn't legit when she let me write a check."

"How do you guys feel about that new drug-resistant superbug? It makes me sick."

"Everyone wants a white Christmas... but all Christmases matter!!!"

"Love is a lot like algebra... You look at your X and try to figure out Y."