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Joke of the Day

"The wife left a note by the TV today saying ""Its not working, I'm leaving"" I plugged it in, turned it on, nothing wrong with it stupid cow!"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Headgear Barbie ...guaranteed to make kids with braces feel better!"

"As an atheist I don't receive many xmas cards and the ones I do disproportionately say ""may God have mercy on your soul."""

"What smells worse than an anchovy? An anchovy's cunt"

"How does Jerry Seinfeld play ice hockey? With his Shtick."

"What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire? How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)"

"You know you're in a seedy part of town when you ask the waitress for coke and she says ""is meth ok?"""

"Playing dead for the alarm clock doesn't seem to be working"

"Did you hear about the fire at the circus? The heat was in tents"

"What is the fakest part of Skyrim? The fact that red guards can swim."