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Joke of the Day
"What smells worse than an anchovy? An anchovy's cunt"
Next Joke
"You might not be a Bulls fan, but I know you felt it when this D rose."
"""Hurt me!"" she cried, jumping onto the bed and stripping her clothes off seductively... ""Alright,"" I said. ""You're a terrible cook and I fancy your sister."""
"Everyone stop over reacting! There was no Earthquake.... I slipped in the shower, these things happen..."
"Im voting Hillary Clinton this year. Because she dosnt suck"
"What is 6.9? Good sex interupted by a period"
"What do you call it when your computer gets infected with a keylogger, a rootkit and half a dozen backdoors? A free upgrade"
"I was in Starbucks the other day and I saw a guy who dropped his coffee on the floor by mistake..... I said to the man ""wow, you actually dropped it like it's hot"""
"INTERVIEWER: what do you consider your greatest strength ME: ... INTERVIEWER: ... ME (38 minutes later): I'd say promptness"
"#ThatAwkwardMoment when you pretend to read your birthday card after the money has fallen out."