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Joke of the Day

"I think that even the most strident libertarian would agree that the US founders never envisioned the unchecked powers of the Girl Scouts."

"*seductively slides hand along store shelf to distract you* *grabs last bag of Cheetos* *tucks, rolls, and runs away*"

"I bought a book on eBay called ""How to Scam on eBay"". It still hasn't arrived."

"A day or two after eating jalapenos I realize I've made a mistake That shit burns."

"An Islamic terrorist walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Good evening, sir! Would you like some alcohol?"" The terrorist replies, ""Yes, Allah-t of it!"""

"*sees a car with a ""how am i driving"" bumper sticker* *calls the phone number* ME: buddy i think it's with a steering wheel"

"Did you hear the one about the woman with a breast implant made of wood? It would be funny if it had a punchline Wooden tit"

"Your Momma is so fat... ... when she wears a Malcolm X jacket helicopters try to land on her back."

"A Jew, a Mexican and a colored guy... ...walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says ""Get the fuck outta here""."

"You can actually drink lava! but only once."