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Joke of the Day

"I think that even the most strident libertarian would agree that the US founders never envisioned the unchecked powers of the Girl Scouts."

"Why did the lonely man work on his days off? (X-post /r/dadjokes) He loved the company."

"How can you tell if a turkey is from Germany? By the way it Goebbels"

"Why did the blonde snort Nutrasweet? Because she thought it was Diet Coke"

"What do you call a (insert racist minority slur here) on a brand new bicycle? Thief. What do you call TWO (insert racist minority slur here) on a brand new bicycle? Organized crime."

"Kid: Are you the babysitter? Sting: Yes. Every breath you take. Every step you take. I'll be watching you. It'll be fun! Kid: *horrified*"

"What's another name for a hemorrhoid? A cock blocker"

"I only had a few friends before I got on Twitter. Now I don't have any."

"Trying to impress a girl who loves jokes about dead hookers. Give me ur best."

"Secondary School Pick up Lines Are you the Detention room because i'm going to spend the next two and a half hours inside you"