133189

Joke of the Day

"Maybe I can bury my burned out vibrators in the Pet Sematary and they'll come back to life with a vengeance."

"If a person with ADHD went to a camp... ... would it be called a concentration camp? Source: Girlfriend with ADHD"

"Wife: ""What are you doing?"" Husband : Nothing. Wife : ""Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."" Husband : ""I was looking for the expiration date."""

"I think I just invented four new yoga poses trying to get a chocolate chip that I dropped under the table."

"London Joke Why did the man fall in love with the banana whilst on a London attraction? Because it was a-peeling on the Eye."

"Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)"

"Date: So... Tinder, huh? Me: Yup. Date: ... Me: This is kind of awkward. Date: Maybe we should've used real pictures. Me: You think so, MOM?"

"No toilet paper. My training kicks in. I barrel roll under the stall & onto the lap of the person in the next stall. I did not plan for this"

"What kind of bees produce milk? booBEES. I'm so sorry.."

"Breaking news!!! Ne ws"