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Joke of the Day

"Eschew pretentious poses. The boy who farted laughing gas, eschewed pretentious poses. He thought those who called him vulgar, had boogers in their noses."

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"Adolf Hitler has been judged very harshly by history however.. he did kill Hitler. NB: stolen from Jimmy Carr"
"I quit drugs, and it made everyone happy. Except for my lamp. It won't talk to me anymore."
"What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? A trip without kids."
"If Donald Trump becomes president all the immigrants nd their cultures gunna leave nd white people gunna be stuck with their nasty ass food"
"Woman: [blushing] I was told there wasn't a single werewolf left in the world. Werewolf: there isn't. I'm married."
"What is an inconvenient truth with music? Algorithm."
"What do you call an abortion in Prague? A cancelled Czech."
"Whenever I go home from work... Have to make sure to leave an hour to sober up!"
"AVN's Best Actress Award goes too... you acting pussy like a chick in a porn film."