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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms? One's a Goodyear, and the other's a great year. x/post from r/funny"

"Humans are constantly amazing me; like how vegan is a thing but hibernation isn't? Wtf."

"What's 10 foot long and stinks of piss? Old folk doing the conga."

"Why do Jews get circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that's not at least 10% off."

"If you're in an indoor shooting range and it starts burning down, what do you yell to warn everyone ?"

"What did the alphabet have before it took a shit? A vowel movement."

"What's the difference between a potato and a chickpea? You wouldn't pay to have a potato on you."

"I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one animal there and to make it even worse it was just a dog. It was a shit-zu"

"Getting over a musical upbringing is as simple as a 1, 2, a 1, 2, 3, 4."

"A job interview is like a first date. You dress up, pretend to be someone else and spend the time wondering if you're going to get screwed."