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Joke of the Day

"I really need to get rid of this heavy copy of ""Farenheit 451""... Could someone lend me a lighter? Edit: FAHRENHEIT DAMN IT"

"[100 year old man on job interview] ""Do you have any references?"" Sure, hold on. *pulls out Ouija board*"

"Hear about all those Japanese people killing dolphins? Apparently they've been doing it on porpoise!"

"If everyone jumped off the docks I would too. I'm a sucker for pier pressure."

"How did the captain of the u-boat announce to his crew that there were no more passports to go around? This sub has officially run out of IDs."

"When something falls in your mouth by accident and you eat it, it's a snaccident."

"Knock knock Who's there? Anna Anna who? Anna partridge in a pear tree! :D"

"I have a great joke about Native Americans But... I'm afraid some people will have some reservations against it."

"If your car is too heavy You can always use lighter fuel."

"My friend asked me why I carry my gun inside my house I told him 'Decepticons.' He laughed, I laughed, the toaster laughed. So I shot the toaster. It was a good day."