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Joke of the Day

"How did the captain of the u-boat announce to his crew that there were no more passports to go around? This sub has officially run out of IDs."

Next Joke
 
"What is the captain of the starship enterprise's favorite drink? Picardi and coke"
"A word is worth 1/1000th of a picture."
"It's so cold in Michigan right now. The politicians have their hands in their own pockets."
"My sensitive toothpaste can't stop crying."
"if a picture's worth a thousand words, the people posting photos on twitter are going over by 860 characters"
"After the delicious brownies have all been consumed following my funeral, a video of me will inform everyone that they just ate my ashes."
"What do you call a parody when the actors are unaware it's satire? Politics."
"In case I ever get diabetes, I want to be sure that I'll be comfortable with injecting myself, so I practices by injecting sugar water."
"My 9yo son just gave me a hug and told me thank you for not naming him Dick."