6515

Joke of the Day

"How did the captain of the u-boat announce to his crew that there were no more passports to go around? This sub has officially run out of IDs."

"Is it okay to kiss a nun? Sure, a long as you don't get in the habit."

"SON: What's a sex tape? ME: Er well when er a man & a woman have er intercourse they S: No M: No? S: Dad. I know what sex is. What's a tape?"

"When does the narwhal bacon? Ellen Pao needs to resign immediately."

"I asked a music teacher what is sooo hard about playing a violin... she said it's kinda fiddely."

"[end of the night]*hand running through her hair, pulls out a lizard* ME: no not again *she unzips jacket, collapses into a pile of lizards*"

"I hope I'm never involved in a long trial, mostly because I only own one suit."

"Just saw a bumper sticker that said ""supprt your local beaver"" or maybe it said ""support your local brewer"" either way it's sound advice."

"2 drunks meet on the street One says ""please allow me to pass between you"" The other replies ""alright, just please do it one at a time"""

"What do you call someone with no body and a nose? Nobody knows!"