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Joke of the Day

"Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep, that's how you wash a cup."

"Is it me or does it seem like Cinco de Mayo is always on May 5th?"

"I'm having trouble organizing a Hide and Seek league. Good players are hard to find."

"Why do women have smaller feet than men? So that they can get closer to the sink."

"Life is like a box of chocolates... It's expensive, you don't like half of it, and sometimes you can give the whole thing to a woman and she still wont have sex with you."

"What do you do when your daughter says batman raped her ? Switch to the spiderman outfit."

"In 1993, I saw a toddler slip on ice and land on a cat, but I didn't have any social media outlet to tell people about it. So, here it is."

"I like walking up to any bald guy wearing sunglasses and saying ""Excuse me but I'm supposed to meet a guy named Pitbull here, are you him?"""

"Which is Donald Trump's favourite music album? the wall by pink floyd"

"Did you hear about the midget psychic who escaped from prison? He's a small medium at large."