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Joke of the Day

"Why does my Pirates of the Caribbean DVD have a piracy warning? I think that pretty much goes without saying."

"Why are boy scouts like human sacrifices in a cannibalistic society? Their motto is ""be prepared"""

"What do Nazi marijuana farmers say to their employees? BALE HYDRO!!"

"What turns you on the most? Water. It makes me wet instantly."

"An old lady at the bank asked me if I could help her check her balance. So I pushed her over."

"Daddy? What is a tranny? Ask your mother. He knows."

"Dad cooks deer for dinner and doesn't tell the kids what it is... He gives them a hint ""It's what your mom calls me"" The kids respond ""It's a fucking dick, don't eat it"""

"I eat my pizza with a knife and fork because I am from a big family, and you need weapons to protect your food at all times"

"As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious erection. ""Maybe you should wait outside while I examine your dog,"" said the vet."

"No matter what amazing things you accomplish or how fantastic you are, a cat will always think it is better than you."