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Joke of the Day

"Knock knock *knock knock* ""who's there?"" *knock knock* ""who's there?"" *knock knock* ""who's there?"" *knock knock* ""Quick! Open the coffin I don't think he's dead!"""

"Girls really shouldn't wear animal print clothing... ...if they're bigger than the said animal."

"Dentist: There goes the only woman I ever loved. Assistant: Why don't you marry her? Dentist: I can't afford to. She's my best patient."

"Ted Cruz takes his religious values very seriously He always pulls out before finishing"

"Two seats open. One next to a good looking girl who noticed me as I walked in. The other by a wall outlet. She'll find love in another man."

"If you were to look at my search history you might think I was a history buff... ... but in reality I just enjoy masturbating to pictures of Holocaust victims."

"As far as I can tell, the only thing ghosts do is set up obstacle courses when I have to get up in the middle of the night to pee"

"Female Viagra Why has it taken so long to get a female version of Viagra? They couldn't get the women to agree on the color for the pill."

"The iPhone 7 is an of all trades Sorry, I meant ""jack of all trades"" but there's no more jack."

"Why did Toronto host the (hockey) World Junior Championships? They wanted to see what a winning team looked like."