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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar... ...and is sent to the hospital with a severe head injury."

"If George Washington were alive today... he'd be clawing at the inside of his coffin and screaming incoherently."

"Two muffins are in the oven . . . One turns to the other and says ""It's hot in here"" the other looks at him and screams ""Fuck me! A talking muffin!"""

"My grandfather died in Auschwitz... He died after falling from the guard tower"

"The ""am I racist"" test First answer that comes to your mind - Whose penis is bigger, Will Smith or Yao Ming?"

"If girl is with you - Restaurant Bill If girl is far from you - Mobile bill If girl is separated from you - Than Bar Bill. Moral - No Girl - No Bills!"

"What do you call someone who masturbates on a plane? A highjacker"

"I tried to take a photo of a huge bug in my bathroom, but when I put a coin next to it for scale IT TOOK THE COIN AND PUT IT IN ITS WALLET."

"[airport] For $800 more you can upgrade to Arctic Class What's that? Same as coach but the flight staff is penguins [slaps table] SOLD"

"Why does flint never get any likes on their Instagram pictures? Cause they don't use a filter."