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Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken get sent off? For persistent fowl play!"

"It's important to distinguish between a seal and a sealion. A sealion is just like a seal, but it's either gained or lost electrons."

"How many cats? One."

"Q: What is the tallest building in the entire world? A: The library, because it has so many stories."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll add to the global overdepletion of the oceans. So just give him the fish."

"once there was a king He was very Poor"

"soup really pisses me off so i boiled all these soup ingredients in water to destroy them ah crap"

"9yo: *struggling for 10 mins trying to start peeling a banana* How do you get into these!? Yo, evolution: You missed one.."

"I loaned my friend $15K for plastic surgery... And now I don't know what he looks like."

"If you hear one of the high piano keys repeating slowly, you're either watching a trailer for a horror movie, or you are a parent."