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Joke of the Day

"An Olympic Gymnast walks into a bar. He gets a two point penalty and ruins his life-long ambition of becoming an Olympic medalist."

"Why are people still calling my phone I thought we covered this at orientation..."

"I have invented a new game. You lock yourself and 9 other friends in a house that has 2 bathrooms. You all then take a load of laxative and fight over the toilets. I call it 'Game Of Thrones'"

"When my SO is sad, she likes to code. So I give her some &nbsp"

"What's the difference between a dept. store Santa and a male prostitute? I've never been employed as a dept. store Santa."

"I like my girls the same way I like my coffee. Hot as fuck and all over my crotch while I am trying to drive."

"TIL It's not possible to yawn while wearing earphones"

"I tried to buy some purfume from a vending machine, But it was out of odour"

"I know a guy addicted to brake fluid He says he can stop at any time"

"What do you call a pirate having sex? A jolly rogering."