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Joke of the Day

"i think ive gone insane. i cut off my nose. nothing makes scents anymore."

"What do you call it when someone gets hit by a bus on his way to pay off his student loans? Crippling debt! It's funny because he can't walk anymore!"

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes Benz? The porcupine's pricks are on the outside."

"I bet a heroin addict could find a needle in a haystack."

"I swear I change my mind about this election every time I open up facebook. My high school friends are political geniuses!"

"What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve!"

"In Scotland we have a saying-""If ye cannae clackit ye widnae brackit."" Nobody knows what the fuck it means."

"What's the final digit of the square root of 2 (2)? I don't know, sometimes radicals can be irrational."

"I try to spend at least 45 minutes on Chatroulette a night, but I usually have to stop early because my arm gets tired."

"Why is Justing Bieber like a shotgun? Give him a cock and he will blow!"