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Joke of the Day

"People who walk in front of the theater screen while you're watching a pirated movie on your computer are so rude."

"Why couldn't the Gorilla pitcher make it in the major leagues? His balk was worse than his bite!"

"What does Gordon program in? FLASH... AAAHHHHHHHH. Its the language of the universe..."

"Heart melting love story: Boy: My wife & 2 kids. Heart melting love story: Boy: I can't marry u. My family is totally against it. Girl: Who r they 2 stop u? Boy: My wife & 2 kids."

"Germans be like: Been there, Done that."

"My friend and I saw a hobo sleeping in the park with a memory foam pillow... My friend turned to me and said, ""What a truly lucky man!"""

"When I get my paycheck I turn into Gollum from 'The Lord of the Rings'."

"*stands next to ATM and cheers every time someone wins money*"

"Did you hear about the pissed-off cartographer tasked with redrawing the map of Canada's largest territory? He was halving Nunavut."

"I was never good at French in school. Just remembering how to say ""bread"" is le pain."