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Joke of the Day

"So the other day my friend asked me if living in Switzerland had any benefits... I responded: ""Well, the flag's a big plus.""^I'll^see^myself^out."

"What do you call a pig that has never been tested for an infection? Uncultured swine."

"Son and a Blow Job A man is sitting at home and his son walks in from school. The son says ""Dad! I had my first blow job today!"" And the father says ""really? How was it?"" ""It tasted awful!"""

"Thanks for the 27 hashtags describing your pic otherwise I would have never known it's a hamburger"

"Doctor, how long do I have left to live? - Ten. - Ten what? - Nine."

"Don't forget about bald guys living vicariously through their beards."

"Boy am I stuffed! I finally finished eating the bag of salt I got for Christmas"

"What it sounds like when you pee in the woods with a shy bladder *crickets"

"I hate when someone sneaks up in front of you when you're scrolling on your phone"

"Q: Why do owners of muffler shops sleep so good at night? A: They're exhausted."