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Joke of the Day

"2 hunters walk into a bar... ...That was the worst time to misinterpret the word 'duck'"

"What did the swollen prostate say during the prostatectomy? I'm out, urine."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $5 to have a garbanzo bean on me."

"So, tonight at the library I asked the librarian if they had any books on turtles ""Hardback?"" she inquired. ""Yes"" I said. ""and little heads."""

"I prayed to God asking him to give me a good husband. And the God did. My husband didn't pray - and he has got me to deal with."

"When Miley Cyrus licks a sledgehammer, it's called ""art"" and ""music. When I do it, I'm ""drunk"" and ""have to leave Home Depot""."

"Have you heard my construction joke? I'm working on it."

"Kourtney Kardashian named her daughter 'Penelope Scotland Disick'. In a related story, Scotland intends to change name of country ASAP."

"New healthcare plan in case Obamacare is defunded: the entire country pays for hospital bills by cooking meth."

"Lion and a cheetah have a race and the cheetah wins! The lion say ""your such a cheeta!!"" The cheetah says ""um no your lion!!"""