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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $5 to have a garbanzo bean on me."

"What's blue and square? An orange in disguise! Boom!!!"

"I have more memory of my conception than I do of last Saturday night... though sometimes I really wish my parents hadn't done porn."

"What would be a good dating site for rednecks ? MyHeritage.com"

"My teenage son told me I am a resentful has-been. We had a good, hearty laugh together about that. Then i changed the WIFI password"

"In Driver's Ed we drove past a sign that said ""Wildlife Crossing"" My instructor said, ""That must be for them colored students."""

"What kind of music do cows listen to? (dadjoke) MOOOOOsic."

"A man is asked why he can't see the Fifty Shades of Gray movie... He replies, ""I'm color blind and can only see 36 of them."""

"An untalented gymnast walks into a bar."

"I asked my husband for the newspaper. ""Don't be silly,"" he said. ""Use my iPad."" That spider never knew what hit it."