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Joke of the Day

"Me: ""Sorry I'm late. Car trouble."" Him: ""What kind of car trouble?"" Me: ""It doesn't go 200 miles an hour to compensate for my late start."""

"I have an irrational fear of over-engineered buildings. I have a complex complex complex"

"Why are gay men so well dressed? They didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing. Edit: ( )"

"My friend's in a wheelchair and he acts like he's the toughest guy around. He can talk the talk, but..."

"Volkswagon How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen? 2 in the front, 3 in the back and 6 million in the ash tray"

"I told a very average joke in the cheese aisle today. The crowd went mild."

"How to stop a small dog from humping your leg. Pick him up, and suck his dick!"

"Guy in the dressing room next to mine: ""I don't want to get blood on these pants."" I want to reply, ""Then stay out of my way on the catwalk"""

"What do Canadian women put behind their ears to attract men? Their ankles!"

"Simba was moving slow So I told him to mufasa."