132151

Joke of the Day

"My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the arseholes asked me to turn it down."

"Something hit me at high frequency today It really hertz."

"Do you remember those old romantic movies where the guy would lay his coat down in a puddle for the woman? WALK AROUND THE FUCKING PUDDLE."

"What is the only deaf animal? Def Leppard"

"Where is the most ironic place to get a girl pregnant? Abortion clinic."

"Jokes What do you get when you cross a chicken and a bed"

"Sometimes I drown cookies in milk in front of their family until they tell me the whereabouts of the Keebler Elves."

"TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Subway Whoops, wrong sub."

"Laser joke A blue laser hertz twice as much as a red laser."

"What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary? An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names..."