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Joke of the Day
"What did the parrot say when he saw a duck? Polly want a quacker!"
Next Joke
"A roofer is working on a house and falls through the ceiling and the people on the inside say, ""nice of you to drop in."""
"Why can't Micheal Bay be a farmer? Because he dosen't have a plot."
"Optometrist: Any questions about laser eye surgery? Me: How big of lasers will my eyes shoot? Him: Me: Him: How much money do you have?"
"What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day ? After a week he was spotless !"
"""Your present is too big and weirdly shaped to wrap. Oh! What if I buried it in the yard?!"" -me, genuinely, earlier today. Wife said no."
"i am asking my dad ""Dad you look tired."" ""Oh, you mean the dark circles under my eyes? Those are the shadows of my great deeds."""
"I've decided to start a new line of 'extra-shatter' measuring sticks. Because rulers were made to be broken."
"What's the difference between a elephant and a banana?"
"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of it's paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause."