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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cow thats had a hysterectomy? Decaffeinated."

"A guy sees a blonde across a lake He shouts to her ""Hey how'd you get on the other side of the lake?"" she replies ""You're on the other side of the lake!"""

"My friend is so silly that he spent two weeks in a revolving door looking for the doorknob!"

"Say, did you hear the one about the three holes in the ground? No? Well, well,well."

"What's the difference between an inaccurate hunter and a constipated owl? One's a shooter that can't hit, the other is a hooter who can't shit."

"I just yawned so loud, I think I called a boat in."

"I wanted sleeve tattoos but keep it 'professional'. So now when I'm naked, it looks like I'm wearing a Brooks Brothers shirt with nipples."

"I resolve that in 2010 I will kick my procrastination habit in 2011."

"So I went to the zoo today and all they had was a dog. It was a shihtzu."

"Is it wrong to follow people just because they're hot? Also, what about on Twitter?"