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Joke of the Day

"Mixologists, bartenders, how to make a smoky manhattan? You fly a plane into the WTC"

"What is the difference between a panda, four lesbians and a firetruck?"

"I'm gonna have an Avengers themed birthday party But don't tell anyone, I'm trying to keep it Loki."

"I failed stats because i have no faith in myself.. I couldn't find anything more than a 0% confidence interval."

"Unraveling iPod earbuds in less than 10 minutes qualifies you to perform surgery in most 3rd world countries."

"When the inventor of the USB stick dies they'll gently lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again."

"I don't like snakes, but ""Diarrhea on a Plane"" would be a lot scarier."

"I have a physical limitation from achieving any of my goals My fucking spine. Holds me back."

"What's the difference between a special needs worker and a gardener? One of them has to water their vegetables"

"Why did the hipster burn its tongue? Beacuse he drank the coffee before it was Cool"