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Joke of the Day

"The declawed cats that I feel most sorry for are the ones that want to play scratch off lottery tickets."

"Yo Momma so Fat When she met Stevie Wonder backstage. He was like ""Who brought a goddamned bouncy castle in here!"""

"How many ears does Mr. Spock have? 3; The left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear."

"I'm always delighted when people stick their noses in my business - my company makes paper tissues."

"GOD: Let's give her ALL the awesome. ""But what if it's TOO much awesome?"" GOD: Then we'll divide it evenly between multiple personalities."

"My essay on sick, long necked mammals had lots of errors in it. My teacher said it was a rough giraffe."

"Her: Undress me with your words... Me: I saw a spider in your bra."

"The McRib is back. Because you're getting new underwear for Christmas anyway."

"What do Africans eat for breakfast? Ebola cereal"

"Have you heard about corduroy pillows? They're making headlines."