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Joke of the Day

"*tree falls in forest, quickly stands up and looks around to see if anybody heard it, brushes self off*"

"I've been attending Acronym Anonymous meetings recently. Or as I like to call it AA. I'm not making a lot of progress."

"My report card always said I was not living up to my full potential. Well, the joke's on them. That really was as good as I was going to get"

"What do you call 2 algebraists who marry? Prime mates"

"Virgin vs. Slut What's the difference between a virgin and a slut? A virgin says ""Don't! STOP!"" A slut says, ""Don't stop!"""

"Hipsters only listen to songs like Surfin' Bird by the Trashmen You've probably never heard of it."

"""I sound nothing like that when I cry."" -doves"

"What is the difference between straight and bisexual? A 6 pack and a backrub"

"I now feel I've watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I'll be able to successfully make it in prison."

"Guys, stop comparing Trump to Hitler. He thinks it's a compliment. Call him a middle-aged woman or a peaceful Muslim."