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Joke of the Day
"My new years resolution is the same as last year. 1920x1080"
Next Joke
"It was the Busta Rhymes, it was the Worsta Rhymes."
"If my dad were alive today he would say, ""Mark stop telling people I'm dead"""
"How long does it take for a baby to explode in the microwave? I dont know, I close my eyes when I masturbate"
"Me: ""Don't piss me off, I can rip a phone book in half."" 10yo: ""A phone what?"""
"Lesbian vampires What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See you next month."
"Russian nesting dolls are so pretentious. They're so full of themselves."
"the sadness of breaking up is less the loss of the person but of a 1000 inside jokes that you'll remember throughout life & never reshare"
"a fun game to play at the zoo is to walk hurriedly past a person and say ""they've escaped. don't run. just walk very fast."""
"I'm trying to finish writing a script for a porno movie but there are just too many holes in the plot."