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Joke of the Day
"I found my first white hair on my head ... I'm gonna name him Gentrification. I'm so sorry."
Next Joke
"Yeah food is good but idk I guess I just always wanted to be able to devour souls as well"
"Pro tip: When quickly pulling into your garage to avoid your neighbor be sure your garage door is all the way up."
"Why a woman doesn't make sense to a man... Actually they make 77 cents to a man."
"I like my women like I like my coffee... Ground up and in a can."
"Secret to wine tasting is to open the bottle and allowing it to breathe If it doesn't look like it is breathing, then give it a mouth-to-mouth"
"They're building a restaurant on Mars now... They say the food will be great, but they're worried about a lack of atmosphere."
"My Chinese friend died today... So Yung"
"Every time I pick up my phone after dropping it, I feel like one of those worried girls in movies who just took a pregnancy test."
"If a gay jumped onto your friend's back... would you help to toss him off?"