131713

Joke of the Day

"I see your sister's sick burn and raise you mine. ""If you're gonna be a dick, wear a condom over your head."" She's 9."

"Dad: Why is your January report card so bad ? Son: Well you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas !"

"The captain of a ship got into a fight with a one eyed monster... Once the fight ended and he had prevailed he said to himself ""I lost a lot of good seamen today..."""

"A sandwich is better than sex. Because nothing is better than sex and a sandwich is better than nothing."

"What's Adolf Hitler's favourite computer game? Mein Kraft."

"People who learned a bunch of stuff must've felt pretty stupid when Wikipedia came out."

"Hey, do you guys remember Sex Ed from High School? He's in jail now."

"Are candles happy or sad when they are put out? They are delighted."

"Why did Johnny teach the cockatoo to do a front flip? So he could say he flipped the bird. ^I'm^not^very^good^at^these"

"What does the rapping shepard sing to his flock? Ewe, crank that soldier boy!"