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Joke of the Day

"How to make holy water You shake the hell out of it."

"feeling dunb after a class test they are always the same :( reddit jokes saved me"

"[news anchor] ""Up next, can more sex lead to a healthier & happier-"" *wife changes channel*"

"How was copper-wire invented? Two jews and a penny."

"If I park 20 spots from the store in an empty parking lot and you park next to me, I'm slamming my door into your car 34 times."

"Today there was a band-aid on my plate, a bat flew in the house, & a bee stung me. Today was brought to me by the letter B."

"If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Allergies."

"What's the difference... ...between a piano, a fish, and glue? You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish ""What about the glue?"" I knew you'd get stuck on that."

"Hello 911 my son is a terrorist he won't eat AMERICAN cheese. Almost two. Yes I'll hold. Hello Child Protection Services my son is a terrori"

"What does it say on Billy Mays' s tomb stone? BILLY MAYS HERE!"