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Joke of the Day

"Today I saw 2 blind people fighting. I shouted ""I support the one with the knife.!"" they both ran away."

"How long do you have to wait between naps?"

"My wife and her twin were standing next to each other in the kitchen Well, long story short, I grabbed the wrong butt and my brother in law was not amused"

"What do you call a boar that sounds like a horse ? Neighbor?"

"Wizard: Give me a burger Waiter: what's the magic word? Wizard: Abracadabra Waiter: *now a hamster* I meant please, but ok"

"my japanese friend keeps calling latex gloves pentadick condoms i guess the radiation is getting to his head too"

"""It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you play the game."" -Losers"

"Women's Magazines: Pg 1. You're beautiful and perfect just the way you are Pg 2. How to lose 20kg in 10 days."

"What is Michael J Fox's favourite song? Shake It Off by Tayler Swift"

"If I don't mention you, then the tweet/status wasn't about you. But if the shoe fits, then lace that bitch up and wear it."