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Joke of the Day
"What did the bunny ask his boss for? A raise in *celery*."
Next Joke
"Good Cop: If you tell us where the money is we can help you. Bag Cop: *majestically floats around the interrogation room on AC currents*"
"Communism is awful. It's just common cents."
"Today is world piles day Get yourself checked. If you don't have piles, celebrate for being a ""perfect asshole"" If you do have piles, still celebrate, for being a ""pain in the ass"""
"""I can't believe it's not butter!"" could be a disappointed statement as well. I'd like the context before I buy."
"[God-awful OC] What do you call someone who lets people rent wifi signals from them? The lanlord!"
"Oh, you fell in love?! I fell in my bathtub."
"Mom: So, do you have someone special in your life? Me: Define ""someone"" Mom: You know, a boyfriend. Me: Define ""boyfriend"""
"eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning."
"A Man Tells a Joke... http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/38ywir/i_want_my_kids_middle_name_to_be_withawhy_just_to/crz16n6"