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Joke of the Day

"Have you ever seen a duchess? Yes - it's the same as an English ""s"""

"What are the two fastest things in the world? The second fastest is your asshole snapping shut. The first fastest is that little drop of water..."

"Around here we commonly refer to our intellectual property as 'our shit'."

"What problem afflicts 40% of all pedophiles? Immature ejaculation"

"There's been a lot of scammers claiming they're from the electric company calling to get payments from overdue bills... They're getting pretty crafty- they even turned off my electricity."

"I hate when my wife says ""GO WAIT IN THE CAR"" because I'm not sure if she's talking to me or the kids."

"Those of you who believe everything you read on the internet probably also believe there's hot local singles in your area."

"What did the toaster say to the pop tart? I want you inside of me."

"I wish it were okay for a guy to carry a purse because there is only so much banana bread that I can fit in my wallet."

"I have never understood why living in the poor part of town... ...makes your skin darker."